list for my man

Today at lunch we talked about the lists we make in our head about what we want in our future spouse (among many other things...). I've generally been of the camp of, when I see it I'll know. A list isn't really gonna help or change that. I think I can pinpoint much more clearly what I don't want, rather than what I do. But someone recently told me-- I think God wants us to think about who we are, what we're looking for, who is good for us. To be an active part of our own lives, even if God is in control of the ultimate plan.

One comment came out-- that you may have a nice long list of things you're looking for when you're younger, but as you get older, that list shrinks down. that kind of statement makes me begin to wonder, does that mean the older we get, the wiser we are? Or we just learn to settle with less than we had hoped for. i dunno, I hope that as I get older my list won't shrink, it'll change : maybe we lose the specificity of our attraction and find the root of that desire, for example-- its not that he's an amazing guitarist, its that he has the initiative, the dedication, and the ear to become one. And of course, I'm still really young, and very likely just being incredibly naive. :P
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not sure how feel about publishing my list, but here's all i could think of for now.

i want someone who is at least or more intelligent than I. is this judgmental/superficial? i do "size people up" on how intelligent i think they are, its just something i do. not to say that I filter friends that way, but i just like to find really smart people to respect; and you respect other people for other things too. i know i'm attracted to smart people, just based on my favorite movie characters who were all too smart for their own good - donnie darko, juno, house.

i like people who put a lot of thought into what they do. that there is purpose or thought put into everything that they do and say; i.e. if you're going to do something, do it well. i must say, i especially like when men are amazing cooks. well planned out events. attention to detail. clever/witty jokes. i tend to like guys who think a lot, sometimes too much.

i've always been attracted to men who are opinionated. When I first realized that, I thought- isn't that weird, since I'm totally the total opposite? But a friend responded by saying, I don't think that's true-- you may not be as vocal about it, but you know what you think. So maybe someone who will help me find the courage to have my own voice.

i want someone who sees complexity in the world. too often, i hear people trying to simplify the world, categorize people, polarize right and wrong, wrap the world into a neat well-worded adages and straightforward answers. i want someone who will be able to stand with me and simply marvel at everything we can't possibly understand.

In some ways I feel like a little child, just asking for everything I want without much regard to much else. But a lot of these things, I can't imagine letting go of; not having in my future husband. I like what DC told me: if it's good, God will purify and give it back to you. God, you tell me what'll still stay standing.