me-world

currently listening to: revive me by jeremy camp
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things i've lost in the past two days
one glove
a key ring with my giant bonus card, borders reward card, library card, etc.
a bible
my journal
my patience
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yesterday's sermon addressed the idea of "me-world." that somehow in our culture, in our language, our attitudes, we've come to believe that the world revolves around us. That we have come to believe that the solutions to our problems are all in the self-- self knowledge, self-esteem, self expression. It is these things that will save us.
Paul says: "For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)
In me-world, we say: "To live is me, and to die is the worst thing that can possibly happen." (death = the end of me)

the speaker made a reference to descartes I really liked-- he said (loose paraphrase), even descartes knew: "I am not the center/creator of the universe; I am not my own god. For if I were, then I would have constructed a world which was perfect for me. But, clearly this is not true." just to say, seriously, who do we think we are? even though I may think: "i'm not dumb, I know that I'm not God"-- but I still act like I am. I still act as if I can fix all my problems on my own; I still act as if I have control over what happens; I still act as if what I want is of infinite importance. I was just struck by how easy it is to fall into "me-world," even if I'm completely aware of God. It's not something you remind yourself once a year when a nice sermon comes along. you've got to be fighting that tendency every single day.

for whatever reason, life has just been really stressful lately. and today i finally couldn't really handle it. all these little things that shouldn't have mattered, just started to get me really upset. I knew that losing a glove, losing a bible- it was not a big issue, but it was so annoying to have lost them (i'm still in denial about the journal...). then people were late; then things didn't go my way; then someone was annoyed at me. I just felt myself sinking into me-world. I knew it was happening, but I still couldn't stop it. all i can say now is, God-- once again, save me from myself.

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**addendum (1/13): link to the sermon here! (right click "save link as" to download mp3)
+ bible and journal found!!!